(no subject)

[herobydefault]

Mark.
Senel.
Sora.
Misa, someone else I didn't recognize.
Duo.
A boy named Hijiri, I think his name was. Sounded like that.
...Kadaj.

Haruki.
Noishe.
Ahiru.
Kotori.

Am I missing anybody?




[[Accidental Voice]]


[There's a long pause, and then some background noises of someone moving things around.]

All in my head. MY head. She didn't deserve anything. Survival of the fittest, alien bitch. Teach you to mess with me.

Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it. [Murmured.] Don't talk about it either, Cloud.

Comments

[Action]

[herobydefault.livejournal.com]

You do. [Digging fingers into bangs now, not lifting his head.]

Have this shit in your head. And you're fine. Something's wrong, really wrong.

[Action]

[wingenvy]

I didn't get it all at once, though. I had four years to take it in. And I didn't have a crazy bitch's voice in my head. I'm not as strong as you think I am, Cloud.

[Unable to help it, Zack reaches out and brushes his fingers through Cloud's hair. He hates to see his friend in pain like this.]

[Action]

[herobydefault.livejournal.com]

It's- [Cloud fidgets, but stills a bit at Zack's touch. Feels like home.]

...like it's... [He struggles to put words to what exactly the problem is.] There's a...flicker at the edge of everything I think and...and I can't help but look at it, but when I do it goes away. And I think it's- I can't concentrate sometimes, have to keep myself busy. But once I don't have something to focus on, I keep seeing that flicker, and then it whispers and sometimes I agree and sometimes I don't...sometimes I just wish it would be quiet, but it's what I'm thinking. It's not good, not good.

[Action]

[wingenvy]

... Cloud...

[Zack swallows hard, trying so damn hard not to look spooked. He wants to help, wants to be supportive, and to do that he can't get spooked. But it's hard.]

This is going to be hard, man, but you have to keep talking about it. Don't shut it in, and screw my advice - don't stop thinking about it either. I couldn't help Seph last time because he wouldn't let me. I... I can't let that happen to you.

[Action]

[herobydefault.livejournal.com]

I'm going crazy, right? Like he did. [Cloud's hand in his hair begins to shake, and he pulls tighter into himself.]

Holy, I don't want to- I read somewhere that actually crazy people don't think they're crazy, but that's what's happening to me, right? I'm getting there. I'm starting to go there, and this time I can't just go into a coma and run away and forget, not again not again never again-...

[Action]

[wingenvy]

[Shit, shit shit. Zack moves immediately, grabbing his shoulder and tugging Cloud against himself, holding him close, one hand closing over Cloud's in his hair.]

Keep talking. Come on, Cloud, keep talking. I gotta hear what you're thinking.

[He's no therapist. He has no idea how to deal with this...]

[Action]

[herobydefault.livejournal.com]

Don't let me hurt anyone.

[It's out of his mouth before Cloud even recalls thinking it, but after the fact he realizes it's exactly what he wants to say and he just wilts.]

Promise.

[Action]

[wingenvy]

[Zack knows what he's talking about without needing to think either, and it kills him inside but it takes no hesitation at all to respond.]

I promise.

[Action]

[herobydefault.livejournal.com]

Thanks. [Cloud closes his eyes, feeling the first bit of peace he'd been able to since taking the spice. After a moment he gives a wry laugh, brief and a little hoarse.]

Always saving me, aren't you Zack? One of these days I'll pay you back. I'll get you home. I'll get us all home, promise. Promise.

[Action]

[wingenvy]

I know you will, Spike. You know, you probably saved my life after we got out of Nibelheim. I would've gone crazy on the run without you to talk to, if the lab hadn't killed my sanity first.

[He doesn't let go of Cloud, stroking his hair a little, wanting to console him in any way he could. Cloud wasn't exactly the touchy-feely type, but sometimes a good hug did wonders.]

[Action]

[herobydefault.livejournal.com]

[Cloud mumbles. Alexander's light, he's tired.]

You chattered on like a five-year-old. It was funny, and sad.

[Action]

[wingenvy]

[It stings, a little, but Zack quirks a smile anyway.]

I did, you're right. Chattered, babbled, rambled, anything to hear the sound of my own voice. Pretty pathetic, huh?

[Action] *hits you with ultimate sadface icon*

[herobydefault.livejournal.com]

[Cloud shakes his head as much as he can with Zack clutching it to his chest.]

Not sad pathetic. Sad, sad.

[Action] you bitch.

[wingenvy]

[.....]

... Sorry. I didn't want to upset you, man.

[Action]

[herobydefault.livejournal.com]

[Their positions reminds Cloud of gunshots in the back of a bumpy yellow truck. He swallows; no dust in his mouth this time.]

I wanted to talk to you...I'm sorry...

[Action]

[wingenvy]

[Zack's not thinking about that, but that's not unusual, either.]

It's okay. It's enough to know you were listening. I never knew, y'know?

[Action]

[herobydefault.livejournal.com]

I was. Sometimes. [Cloud's kind of leaning now, since Zack is steady and he is hella tired.] Kind of like being sedated. Sometimes it was fuzzy, sometimes I could hear everything, but I couldn't ever move.

...was weird.

[Action]

[wingenvy]

... Yeah. It's the mako - messes with you a bit. I had that problem a few times. [His lips quirk again.] You should've seen me stumbling around like an idiot when I got out of that tube. Looking back, it's pretty damn funny.

[Action]

[herobydefault.livejournal.com]

[Cloud really doesn't feel like raining on Zack's parade again so he just kind of shakes his head and bit and chuckles weakly, hoping Zack would take his lack of enthusiastic response as fatigue (which is partially was anyways).]

[Action]

[wingenvy]

[Zack's half-fooled, half-not; he's pretty sure he's heard that before. Still, he's here for Cloud's benefit, not his own, and sometimes you just have to call it quits and try another day. It's not giving up, after all.]

You look dead to the world, Spike. You wanna rest? Uncle Zack can put the kids to bed tonight.

[Action]

[herobydefault.livejournal.com]

Don't wanna sleep. [Cloud nodding off is contrary to his response, but he does lift a hand and waves it vaguely to gesture around the room.]

Gotta find my materia.

[Action]

[wingenvy]

[Zack resists the urge to sigh. Typical Cloud, trying to do two things at once.] What kind of materia? What do you need it for?

[Action]

[herobydefault.livejournal.com]

Black materia. To... [Wait, that's wrong. Cloud shakes his head.]

No. Restore materia. Yuffie gave it to me.

[Action]

[wingenvy]

[Black materia? That's... familiar, but he can't quite think of what Cloud means, so he dismisses it for now.]

Nevermind. You can find it later - take a nap first, alright? C'mon, Spike, you'll just stagger around and pass out if you keep looking like this. Have a rest.

[Action]

[herobydefault.livejournal.com]

[It's getting increasingly more difficult to refuse.] ...don't like sleeping, though. Did enough of that already. [There's a pause, and Cloud snickers a bit, the sound out of place.]

That saying? You can sleep when you're dead? So morbid. Always thought it was morbid, hated hearing it from the drill sergeants.